…

YOU KNOW, IT’S QUITE FUNNY HOW SOMEONE YOU LOVE WITH ALL YOUR HEART WILL LEAVE YOU ON A WHIM, AND THEN COME BACK EXPECTING TO BE ADORED.

WAHAHAHAHAHA. HA. HA.

IN THE MEANTIME, I FELL INTO A DOWN-SPIRALING, SUICIDAL DEPRESSION, GOT THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF ME BY THE FUCKING OLDEST DINOSAUR ON THE PLANET, AND THEN FELL INTO A 5 MONTH COMA.

SO YEAH, I’D SAY I AM A PRETTY FUCKING GREAT GYM LEADER. WAHAHAHA.

lt-surge-baby:

esperqueen:

” Really Surge, first Whitney’s clothes and now Elesa’s? “

 

….Okay, that one was Wattson’s idea and he called me a pussy if I didn’t do it. But that does not make it a hobby!!

SHIT NIGGA I DON’T GIVE A FUCK THIS JACKET IS FLY AS HELL

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

…………WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

OF COURSE I’M BACK! I HAVE A DUTY TO FULFILL AS A GYM LEADER!

WAHAHA! BRO LET’S SCHEDULE THIS SHIT. MY MAN TEETS HAVE GOTTEN OVERLY SAGGY WHILST IN MY 5 MONTH COMA.

Name calling was not necessary…I am fine with my name being Winona.But I digress. My Pokemon and I have been doing fine.I miss my best friend Flannery,who I’m only assuming is the reason to this name calling…I couldn’t agree more with the break!

WAHAHAH!

DON’T GET YOUR VAGINA IN A KNOT, SILLY FEATHER LEZZY. BEING A FAGGOT IS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF. JUST LOOK AT ME! /stands proudly, shaking his jolly fat/

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

THIS LONG BREAK HAS DONE WONDERS FOR MY SWAG, CAN I JUST TELL YOU?

I FEEL LIKE AN INVINCIBLE NIGGERESS.

LIKE A BIG BLACK POWERFUL WOMAN.

MY REPUTATION IS FANTASTIC AS USUAL. YOU KNOW, A FIVE MONTH BREAK IS NEEDED EVERY NOW AND AGAIN.

WAHAHAHA

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, MS. LESBIAN?

cougarsayswhat:

Are you sure those tears aren’t just leaking out of that weeping snakeskin you call a cock? But thanks for giving a fuck, that almost made me feel special and warm all around

and then I felt your piss fill the room to bursting and you didn’t even let me get my goddamn galoshes you piece of shit. I don’t appreciate your piss poor, puns intended, hospitality. If you’d have offered me a crackjack and some lemonade that ISN’T your piss for once, I would have been fine but nooooooooooooooooooooo

Who the fuck told you about my dick eat- I mean….yeah….hah…hah….good one, dickslinger….

Oh wow

I’m so wet right now I don’t know if its the piss in the room or my usually dry cooter being contaminated 

you’re such a studmuffin I can barely control it. My tits are frothing.

PFFFFT. Idiot.

You know….I’ll give you that. But I’m surprised your own head isn’t so full of cocks and greasy cum that you don’t ooze it out of every fucking hole in your disgusting body.

Either the clean up crew is really working over time or…..oh my shitballs niqqamelons, you might actually have a backup memory. Wow. 

NAHH THAT’S JUST MY SWEAT, BULKIN UP MY PEENER. WAHAHAH.

YOU KNOW, THAT’S REALLY SOMETHING SPECIAL, I DIDN’T KNOW CORPSES COULD HAVE FEELINGS.

WELL NOW I JUST FEEL BAD. MAYBE I COULD OFFER YOU MY PENIS, BUT I’D PROBABLY BREAK YOU, EVEN THOUGH THAT’S QUITE A FEAT IN AND OF ITSELF.

OH SORRY ABOUT THE MESS. LET ME JUST THIS UP WITH ALL THE SHITS I GIVE ABOUT YOU. DON’T WORRY. IT’S DOUBLE QUILTED. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

BITCH I DON’T OOZE THAT SHIT OUT. OOZING IS FOR LESBIANS AND CRUSTY VAGINAS LIKE YOURSELF. NIGGA I SPARK THAT SHIT LIKE A GOD DAMN MAN.

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU. OF COURSE I HAVE A BACK UP MEMORY, IT COMES WITH THE 20 MINUTES OF RETENTION.

cougarsayswhat:

Yeah I wonder why

inquiring minds that don’t actually forget who the fuck they are at every twenty minute interval

oh wait

probably because you finally tapped out the oily mines of your dicksickle

good fucking job.

OH NIGGA, I CAN’T BELIEVE YO DUMBASS IS STILL ALIVE. I ALMOST CRIED FROM TEARS OF HAPPINESS.

I GUESS WE CAN’T ALL HAVE OUR DICK AND EAT IT TOO.

OH THAT’S RIGHT YOU NEVER GOT ANY.

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WOW. YOUR LIFE.

AT LEAST I HAVE TWENTY MINUTES OF MEMORY STORAGE. YOU’VE GOT SO MUCH DANK STANK IN YOUR ROTTING SKULL, THAT I DON’T REALLY KNOW HOW YOU CARRY ON A DAILY CONVERSATION, LET ALONE GET UP IN THE MORNING.

GOD I WOULD HATE TO SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.

I’M BACK FROM MY TEMPORARY COMA

WAHAHA!

/shoves the decrepit body of Agatha off of him/

I FEEL REGENERATED!

~YOUTHFUL EVEN~!

LET ME SHOCK THE WORLD WITH MY ENERGY~!

cougarsayswhat:

You dick munching donkey fucking shithead, you didn’t hit any nerves. All of mine are so goddamn numb that botox can’t even touch that shit anymore [deadpans]. Not to mention botox couldn’t do jackdick anyway, what, with how clogged my veins are with hatred, mayonnaise, and either pixie stix mix or cocaine, I’m not really sure…..

[wrinkles her delicate, skeletal nose and reaches up with one withered hand in order to one, slap the fat fucker in the face, all lady like, and two, wipe the stringy drool off her face] ………..Is this cum? Jesus fucking tittychrist, that’s disgusting. Your leaking is really putting me off.

Hey, fuck your shit you overgrown Neanderthal, I get it trimmed every once in a shit brown moon by those cute little asian fuckers I hire. Weird thing is, I keep having to replace them immediately after every session…also, I never knew they were so fucking religious, praying so goddamn much. But eh, whatever floats their rice cakes. 

[ignores the jab at her wonderful rainbow out the dickhole personality and cocks (……) an eyebrow] 

………………….Did you just call me…………Wattson you flubby fucker, what the fuck are you on and why the rotting hell aren’t you sharing with your old frenemy Aggy you self serving piece of dinosaur turd. [actually gags somehow with the lack of gag reflex] 

Yeah, laugh it the fuck up at my body hair armor you dumbfuck, you won’t be laughing when nukes drop down into your wide set booty hole and fuck that shit up beyond repair- at least more so than usual. And I’ll be safe and sound and you’ll be missing one of your four ass holes. [#Aggyshrug and she barely bats an eyelash at the manhandling of her ladyhandles, and watch out they’re kinda cold, don’t freeze] 

[she sighs and bats her crusted eyelashes] Ohhhh wooooooooooow Watty, you might just be right….I’ve been holding back my true tsuntsun feelings deep inside the recesses of my dusty snatch and it’s taken this faggy little heart to heart and grope of yours for me to realize this is the real me. [snoooooooooooooort]

You’re an even bigger idiot than I thought if you hadn’t realized by now; I don’t give two squirts of bloody piss what you have to say about me. I’m pretty comfortable sitting my sweet mole littered ass around and letting you little fucks run around like you’ve got your dicks chopped off-

Nice image, that. 

So, you can’t fucking touch this.

[eyes the hand on her tit] Figuratively. 

Sorry, I don’t guzzle cunts, that’s dicks. Just so you know.

How many tits have you touched in your life time, aside from your mamas teats once upon a time till you were about fifteen and already dipping your toes in the assholes of boys your age. 

Nope, that onion-y smell? That’s the goop currently oozing out of your tits. Mine smells like garlic. There’s a fucking difference, idi-

[suddenly she finds herself upended upon the springy form of Wattson, at a loss for words for the first time since the cavemen stopped fucking the dinosaurs, until]

………….Well then. How many fucking fat rolls do you have, Jolly Saint Dick? This feels like a goddamn trampoline. Or the springy walls of those mental institutions. 

DON’T.

EVEN.

 TALK ABOUT BEING PUT OFF RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING FECAL COLWN.

I HAVE NEVER, IN MY HUNDRED AND TWO YEARS OF LIFE, EVER, BEEN SO UNATTRACTED TO SUCH A DISGUSTING PERSON. YOUR FACE ALONE, LITERALLY SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.

OH YEAH OK. IT’LL TOTALLY SHARE MY SUCCULENT MAN CREAM WITH YOU OF ALL PEOPLE.

YUP.

YUP.

AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, MY ~BOOTY HOLE~ IS PERFECT. YOU WOULDN’T KNOW THE DEFINITION OF “DESTROYED”, SINCE YOU’VE NEVER LOOKED AT YOURSELF IN A MIRROR.

AND I DON’T HAVE FOUR ASSHOLES, I HAVE FOUR BALLS. JEEZE.

PLEASE NIGGA, ERRYBODY’S GOT A BREAKING POINT. YOU BROKE MINE A LONG TIME AGO. IT’S JUST A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL YOU SUBCUM TO YOUR OWN JELLY ROLLS.

AND SPEAKING OF JELLY ROLLS, I HAVE SIX. ONE FOR ME, THREE FOR BLAINE, AND TWO FOR EMERGENCIES. SINCE YOU’RE SO OLD AND DECREPIT, YOU’VE OBVIOUSLY LOST YOUR ABILITY TO SEE AND COUNT. HOPEFULLY YOU REALLY WILL DIE SOON.

WHY CAN’T YOU LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEEEEEEE

I AM HAVING A MOMENT HERE YOU INCONSIDERATE FUCK.

cougarsayswhat:

You wrinkled, pus oozing, dirty dick smelling, pea soup thick cum guzzling mermaid ballsac. [real fucking calm] If you don’t remove your sweaty man tits from my face, I’m going to reach down with my tiny, withered fist and- no, not fist you, you sick fucking fuck, my hand would get lost in your wide set asshole- but unhook it and slay you with it. 

Speaking of dead babies and breath, yours is doing wonders for the leg hair I have yet to mow down this season, close that fucking mouth before I do it for you. 

But thanks so ever so fucking much, I’d been needing to trim my own ladystache for awhile now and you and your lovely troll ass rimming breath really did it.

[slow sarcastic clap, so fucking amused you gaize] 

And there it is, your new set of big boy balls have finally grown in, gooooood joooooobbb you piece of shit. 

As for jews and niggers, I fucking eat those for breakfast, so that’s probably why. Fried up real nice with a side order of watermelondrea And as for the blue waffle cunts, the only blue colored genitals around here are your blue hairy balls so, I dunno what to tell you.

Get some ink of a blue cunt and cry some more, dickcheese. Maybe get in on that fat ass of yours, I’m sure there’s some room there among all those ‘eat me, I’m a cunt’ bumper stickers and shit.

And finally: Motherfucker please you must really be losing it in your old age if you think that one; I give a fuck about your personal problems aside from the fucking money you owe me, or the current sweaty mantits currently dripping some sort of….what the fuck is this, milk?? Are you lactating you freak? Or is that cum. Nope nope, wait, it’s cum, yup. Wow. You’re just…..WOW. I need to go take a shower, right now. And maybe take some pills to forget all about this experience. Get that shit checked out for the hatred of my left nipple, seriously.

Lastly lastly [kicks in the balls and smacks in the face with a single one nippled tit, you asshole] 

Hmmmm, feels pretty small to me. Like one of those fucking jolly rancher candies. But sour, cracked, and sweaty. 

I THINK YOU’RE JUST SAUCY OVER THE FACT THAT I HIT A NERVE.

MAYBE SEVERAL.

HM.

HM.

UH, MAYBE I DON’T WANT TO.

MAYBE I WON’T MOVE.

MAYBE I’M SICK OF HANDLING YOUR SHIT.

MAYBE IT’S TIME TO TASTE YOUR OWN SHIT. /gets closer, spit sprays on face/

TIME.

TO.

TASTE.

HAVE YOU EVER STOPPED TO CONSIDER THAT YOUR MOBILE TROPICAL FORESTS MIGHT BE THE REASON WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU? (YOU NEED TO DONATE SOME OF THAT OVERGROWN GREEN. YOU’RE JUST BEING SELFISH AT THIS POINT.)

OH OF COURSE NOT. THEY’RE TOO BUSY GETTING PAST YOUR THIRD FUCKING NIPPLE, LET ALONE YOUR TERRIBLE PERSONALITY. ALSO BITCH, IT’S SERIOUSLY TIME TO ELIMINATE THAT MUTANT GROWTH. IT’S GOTTA BE FATAL AT THIS POINT, BUT, HEY, MAYBE THAT’S A GOOD THING.

AND I’M GLAD I COULD FIX THE RUSTY BUZZSAW YOU CALL A FACE WITHOUT EVEN TRYING. IT’S SO WEIRD HOW I CAN SEE YOUR UPPER LIP NOW. I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER SEEN IT BEFORE. YOU ALMOST LOOK PRETTY. HOW CUTE.

ARE YOU PROUD OF YOUR BALLS WORK? I HOPE SO. THEY’RE BIGGER THAN YOUR CLUMPY NIPPLES, SO GET A GOOD LOOK. /instantly de-robes/ IT’S THE LAST PIECE OF MAN MEAT YOU’LL SEE, WELL, PROBABLY BEFORE YOU DIE, YOU THOUSAND YEAR OLD CRETAN. 

YOU’RE JUST DELIGHTED OVER THE FACT THAT SOMEONE EVEN CARES TO TALK TO THE SORRY EXCUSE THAT IS YOUR EXISTENCE, YOU LARGE SAGGY CUNTGUZZLUER. YOU’VE WORKED ME UP SO MUCH THAT I AM EXCRETING NOW. THANKS A LOT. THANK. YOU. IT’LL TAKE A WEEK TO GET MY MOOBIES TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME TO CAUSE THIS? THE GREAT DEPRESSION. CONGRATULATIONS. YOU’VE CREATED A NEW LOW FOR SATAN.

HONESTLY. HONESTLY, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. THIS DOESN’T EVEN FEEL LIKE A BOOB. /shakes it violently/ IS THERE SAND IN THIS THING? WHY IS IT HAIRY. WHY DOES IS SMELL LIKE ONIONS??

/doubles over and rolls around in pain. while she laughs he grabs her ankle to pull her down. she convienently falls ontop of him./

cougarsayswhat:

Ohhhhhhhh my titty anal fucking christ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Are you really on this shit again?!

REALLY?!

Cut that shit out, seriously. It’s pathetic and it honest to fuck makes me want to puke out my remaining egg, frozen forever in time like a dinosaur egg. 

It might just be the same thing though, I stopped listening to the doctor when he switched to those new slacks. 

You know what probably made him turn dick and run? The light reflected off his stupid fucking bald ugly head must have blinded him, lit his asshole on fire in an entirely different sense for once, dear fuck, and that’s why. 

Not to mention he’s a twat. And one time he had a giant string of cum stuck to his mustache for about five hours before someone finally told him about that.

……….Good job on that. Jolly fucking good. 

That humble bullshit ain’t you, and that will only serve to rouse the angry mob I might or might not be thinking of hiring to come beat some sense into your fat jiggy ass.

So fucking stop it. 

[slugs in the dick] 

OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY PRETTY PENIS/wheezingly, staggeringly stands up/

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU. /throws against a wall/

HERE I AM, BELITTLING EVERY LAST GOD DAMN PIECE OF SELF ESTEEM I HAVE LEFT JUST TO SOMEHOW MAKE FUCKING BLAINE’S DISAPPEARANCE A RIGHTEOUS ACT. HE LEFT ME TO WALLOW IN MY OWN HATRED AND LONELINESS, AND NO ONE EVER EVEN TRIED TO OFFER THEIR SYMPATHY. I AM FUCKING SICK OF STANDING AROUND AND TAKING EVERYONE’S COMPLETELY UNINTELLIGENT BULLSHIT THAT THEY JUST FEEL THE PURE FUCKING NEED TO DROP ON ME, ESPECIALLY YOU.

OH.

ESPECIALLY YOU.

FIRST OFF, LET ME JUST INFORM YOU OF YOUR FUCKING DEAD BABY BREATH. JESUS SMITEING NIGGERS AND JEWS. EVERY WORD OUT OF YOUR YELLOW CRUSTY LIPS SMELLS LIKE YOU JUST HAD BLUE WAFFLE VAGINA EVERYDAY FOR THE PAST FUCKING DECADE. COULD YOU DO THE WORLD A FAVOUR AND JUST STOP. FUCKING. TALKING OUT OF YOUR WHORE MOUTH.

SECOND, WHERE THE FUCK IN TITTY LAND DO YOU GET OFF INSULTING AND PUNCHING MY BEAUTIFUL PEPEE (pep-ay. it’s french.) I SAID YOU COULD PUNCH IT.

NOT FUCKING DRILL YOUR RAZOR FIST INTO ME PEENY HEAD.

IT’S FUCKING HUGE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND, IF NOT PUNCHED, COULD PROBABLY DO MORE DAMAGE THAN YOUR THIRD TIT USUALLY DOES. IN FACT, IF MY DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR LAST PILL BOTTLE, THAN IT’S STILL THE BIGGEST DICK THAT’S EVER COME ANYWHERE CLOSE TO YOU. HOW CAN YOU EVEN COMPLAIN.

BITCH, YOU NEED TO BACK. OFF. I DON’T WANT YOUR SYMPATHY.

cougarsayswhat:

There is no ‘better’ for you; once a piece of hot elephant shit, always a piece of hot elephant shit. But at least you’ve stopped crying, thank fuck. You drowning the world with your thick, goopy old fart cum is more tolerable than your acidic pussy tears, to be quite frank.

Also, all your humble moe bullshit is making my bowels irritable, fucking stop it. 

It’s not that big, you dumbass. It’s smaller than the last thing of birth control pills I took, and that was nearly nonexistent. 

Hows about I punch it…..four times. To make up for all my troubles. Whenever I feel like, and don’t think I’ll forget, I’ll write that motherfucker down and make sure Gengar puts it someplace safe. 

Also you have to pledge allegiance to me for when I take over the fucking world.

…………

You know what. Maybe you’re right.

I probably deserve these things you speak so strongly of.

I did, after-all drive him away.

I think maybe being humble is a lot better than being the “old” me.

(…Although I’m already pledging allegiance to my brother Lorenzo, for when he burns the world to the ground with his eyes..)